Kevin Can Wait | CBS
Kevin James plays a recently retired cop who finds that life at home with the family is exactly like a lame sitcom from the ‘80s. He’s fat! He’s dumb! He’s ‘Merica! And we’re in for at least four years of it, if not eight. Thanks for nothing (again), CBS.
Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders | CBS
Decent cast (including Gary Sinise, Anna Gunn and Alana de la Garza), but this sub-xenophobic, white-folks-in-peril-abroad spin-off has little reason to exist when we already have a perfectly good O.G. Criminal Minds.
Roadies | Showtime
Cameron Crowe’s ode to the hard-knock life behind the rock & roll fantasy, starring Luke Wilson, Carla Gugino and cameo bands galore, began more rom-com than rock show, then noodled as aimlessly as a Dead jam. Roadies did mostly pull it together by the end, but it was waaay too late.
Legends of Chamberlain Heights | Comedy Central
The only genuinely funny aspect of Comedy Central’s latest (badly) animated series Legends of Chamberlin Heights is the name of the school where it’s set: Michael Clarke Duncan High. Following one of the most uneven seasons of South Park ever didn’t help.
Notorious | ABC
At least this criminally-stoopid mashup of The Newsroom and Law & Order, about a gorgeous lawyer (Daniel Sunjata), a gorgeous-er news producer (Piper Perabo) and “the unique, sexy and dangerous interplay of law and the media” has been mercifully canceled by ABC. Just like
Conviction | ABC
Yet another “sexy” legal drama, this one starring Haley Atwell as a party-girl lawyer learning how to overturn wrongful convictions and “care,” if not master an America accent. Conviction has a handful of episodes to burn off in January, but Atwell is now freed up for more Agent Carter (hint).
Aftermath | Syfy
And another supernatural-apocalypse series—but this time, it’s about family! Mom is Anne Heche, who appears to be perpetually hungover, and phones her performance in from behind a ridiculous pair of sunglasses. Even she realizes Aftermath is hot garbage. Ease up on the End of Days, Syfy.
The Affair | Showtime
Season 1 delivered some intriguing adult drama from multiple perspectives. Unfortunately, now that it’s dragged on into Season 3, this “prestige” series offers little more than Middle-Aged Rich People Probs and pricey east-coast real estate views.
Bill Frost writes about television for Salt Lake City Weekly.